Anyone thinking of trying to break in to Beardsley Towers to steal some of the riches and valuables that go with being an internationally best-selling author, think again.
My team of hand-picked scientists have been perfecting the technique of genetically modifying attack dogs in order to make them even more effective.
This new breed, now ready to be unleashed upon would-be burglars, can flow under fences or through wire mesh to get at you, and if you run from them and make it back to your vehicle, thinking you are safe, think again! They can ooze through keyholes, air vents, and the gaps around windows!
(The good thing is, they don’t even need kennels but are housed in old pickled onion jars until called into action.)