Do Your Research Before You Buy

In my ongoing mission to provide readers with the best in-depth Amazon reviews, I bring you the pick of the latest crop:

Tedious at times. Easily managed to put it down. Somehow it has also corrupt6ed my Kindle app so that the background is dark/ This is ptobably my error, but it is annoying (3 stars) This terrible book also seems to have corrupted his computer keyboard – avoid at all costs.

Came with no dust cover (3 stars) One of the worst sins an author can commit.

The condition of the book was terrible. Severely water damaged, the pages were distorted and the books cover was torn in multiple places. The book itself is brilliant. (1 star) Fair enough criticism. As an author, I always insist on publishers inserting into my books a guarantee that I personally will compensate buyers for any water damage.

just got it, havent start reading it, but i love it anyway (5 Stars) See – sometimes you can judge a book by its cover…

If this is half as good as Damo’s other books this is going to be an awesome read. I have only just started this, but so far it looks promising (5 stars) …In fact, quite often.

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From the local press

Ms Creasy called for an extension of a pilot project by Nottinghamshire Police, which has been recording misogynistic behaviour as either hate crime or hate incidents, depending on whether or not it is criminal.

“Crimes like upskirting don’t happen in a vacuum,” she said.

The mind boggles…

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OK…

This is just becoming attention-seeking behaviour. He lies there in the water looking all helpless, knowing I’m going to get the spoon and fish him out again.

I did it this time, but I  also reminded him of the Fly Who Cried Wolf. Three strikes and you’re out (or rather, you aren’t) my little friend.

The only good part of it is that when I put him on the Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady tea caddy to dry out, once he’d recuperated he went straight to ‘Feel the Gladness of the May’, so perhaps correcting his earlier dire prognostication. The weather is still pretty good…

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Shock News

I was dismayed to read this major revelation when I checked the news this morning

 

 

 

 

 

 

In one fell swoop this has not only destroyed my years of research on the subject but demolished the theory I was working on: that procrastination is down to how the elbow works. Apparently, Prof Tim Pychyl, from Carleton University, Ottawa, who, as well as having to contend with a severe shortage of vowels in his name, has been studying procrastination for ‘the past few decades’. It seems an awfully long time, but perhaps other things kept getting in the way and it never really seemed the right time to get properly started.

The only good thing to come out of this is that it leaves me more time to devote to my suspicion that there is a link between walking and the feet making contact with the ground. I intend to apply for a government grant to enable me to really throw myself into this challenge, and I will keep my loyal readers informed of any progress.

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Severe Weather Warning…

…combined with yet another daring wildlife rescue.

It all started this morning when I noticed a fly in Max’s water bowl. Being a water bowl half-full type of person, I used the end of a teaspoon to fish him out, carried out immediate mouth-to-mouth (okay, a slight exaggeration) and lo and behold, he began to move! I left him on the windowsill to catch the sun, and thought no more of it (I’m naturally modest in that way).  I went out, and when I returned home I spotted him – his wings had almost dried out, and he had taken up station on my Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady tea caddy. The important point here is that I sensed (I’ll call it no more than that) that he was trying to thank me – but in the form of a helpful warning. For the fly made a deliberate and calculated move towards ‘Ye who live in mountain peak’ – which, blog followers, is most definitely winter. He actually appeared to be pointing at it. To me this can only mean he is telling us that something BIG AND NASTY is on the way weather-wise, and that we all need to be prepared. My suggestion is that we head for the hills, or possibly somewhere warm like the Isle of Wight, and sit out the storm. My staff are organising a crowdfunding appeal to finance the trip as I speak, and I will keep you informed of its progress and any further fly-related messages.

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Autumn Gets Closer

The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady tea caddy remains halfway between summer of winter for now, but the latest official sign of the approaching change of season came this morning when I was making toast for breakfast.

The butter is getting firmer.

This is a sure sign of cooler weather – and even colder weather to come.

As a precaution, I recommend that all of my followers stay indoors unless absolutely necessary or risk certain death. As indeed you should have done during the summer, when it was dangerously hot.

In fact, life in general is too dangerous these days. My advice is to curl up into a ball and think of pretty flowers and fluffy bunnies.

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Autumn Approaches

One sure sign that summer is slipping into autumn is the alignment of my Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady tea caddy

As you will see, it is now positioned half-way between July, boyling like to fire and Season of mist and mellow fruitfulness. I faithfully rotate it throughout the year to reflect the appropriate seasons, and in fact I have recently been approached by the International Meteorological Council with a request that it be adopted as the official indicator of one season changing to another. I am currently considering whether I can add this to my current lengthy list of duties and responsibilities.

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